When I grow up...

I am not the woman I wanted to be. I wanted to be awesome. I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to be someone my children could confide in and rely on and count on. I wanted them to be proud of me. I wanted to be my husbands most trusted ally. I wanted to have a beautiful home. I wanted to be dignified and classy. I still want these things.

My thirteen year old would rather not acknowledge I exist. My twelve year old has been getting picked on daily in school and I only finally found me about out because they broke the skin and I saw the wound. My fifteen year old thinks I've failed him because my husband insisted we get rid of one of the dogs. My seven year old screams hysterically when asked to do chores and has been sent to the principals office for a temper tantrum.

I wanted to be awesome. I'm not. How do I change that? I don't seen top know the rules to be cool. What does it take?