The rest of the bullying situation with KMS & Trinity...

We met with the KMS Principal, vice-principal, and counselor March 23. The email I sent that morning with Trinity's statement was not received by any of the three (did it ever show up?). My printer had failed so I was unable to bring hard copies. Of course, when I arrived home the printouts were sitting happily on the printer. I read the first few paragraphs of the statement to you off of my phone. We got the correct names for the students involved. I took back printouts with his statement for each of you later in the day.

The Principal strongly feels that the school has not had a chance to address this issue at all. She appears to feel that March 23 for all intents is the first day the incident has been reported to them. She feels I made up my mind to request a transfer without giving them a chance. I personally count 5 chances so far.
1. March 9 The loss of the written statement Trinity provided you. I was not made aware of this loss until March 21.
2. March 9-14 The counselors failure to follow up on the written statement he gave the administration. The policy in place at the time did not call for any follow up. You have since made changes to the policies regarding handling of students written statements.

**At this point I did request a transfer, as the bullying had been reported and was continuing and there had been neither action nor contact from the school.***

3. March 14 The non-response to email sent that day. She says she did not receive it. She has received other emails from me since.
4. March 15 & 16 The failure to return my phone calls. She says she only received one message. I left several with the secretary. She says it is her policy not to contact parents until she has information from the staff, because of the lost note there was none.
5. March 16-20 The lack of follow up after my personal conversation with Mr. Breakey and Mr. Segur on March 16, where I was left with the impression the school would support a transfer. The principal says they felt there was nothing they could do to make me happy and were under the impression I would bring back a more complete written statement before any other action was taken.

I asked that she tell me how many more chances they feel we should give them, and how many more times Trinity will have to be insulted before she felt we had allowed the "process" to work. She said she could not give me an answer. I asked that a plan be developed to keep Trinity safe at school. She said that she hoped Trinity would be integral in developing that, but that such a plan could not be considered until the disciplinary issues had been dealt with. She then made suggestions such as having Trinity sit closer to the teacher, sit either in the front or the back of the bus and assign these boys to sit opposite him, leave class before passing, and spend lunch in the library.They suggested having him come back half days. She said all the teachers would be asked to keep a closer eye on these boys. The offer was made to transfer him out of one class that he has with several of the boys involved, Trinity enjoys that class so it was also suggested a seating change be made. She said they have good success in getting children to stop behavior like this, but that I needed to realize that different families have different tolerance levels for inapropriate language. I pointed out the student handbook considers swearing at another student an offense. There were also numerous recommendations made regarding Trinity fitting in better so he would stop being the target of bullying.

I don't want to be irrational. I want to do the right thing. I want to keep my son safe. Trinity teared up a couple of times while we were talking to you. The principal also said that by transferring Trinity we are denying him to opportunity to learn vital coping skills. The magnitude of this harassment is beyond the ability of most adults to cope with, much less a child. Tomorrow is the last day of school until April 4th. so I doubt anything more will happen with this until then. We asked you to keep us informed as to the progress on this. The principal reminded us that state law prohibits them from sharing the results of any disciplinary action with us. Thank you for your help, I appreciate it. If you have any suggestions or advice I appreciate that too. Please let me know if there is anything I misunderstood.



The next afternoon Trinity and I met with the Military Education Liason. This was her account.

I met with Mrs Grant and Trinity today. After going over all transitions and placements during the day, we figured out that Trinity felt that moving between 4th and 5th period was sometimes an issue with bullies, as well as 6th period and, esp. on the bus home.

Otherwise, Trinity didn't feel there was a problem at other times.

Mom was pleased to see that there were more limited times that he was having problems; she wasn't aware of this before.

We discussed perhaps having specific students (L and T) walk with him between his math and PE classes. We discussed having him sit close to the teacher and maybe with C in Art 6th period. And we discussed having (Transportation) talk to driver--having Trinity sit right behind driver, sharing seat with C; perhaps having several dependable kids sit behind that seat as a buffer from other students.

However, after discussing these issues and possible solutions, and discussing PAL or family homeschooling, it appeared that PAL or homeschooling will most probably be the solution for the rest of the year.

I can understand his refusal to return. Again, between transition/new home and school, deployment of stepdad, shared custody (summer and winter breaks), the bullying, his temperament and size--he has held it together for some time.

Certainly discipline issues should be followed up with problem students.

Just wanted you to know where things were heading.


This woman Heather, the Bangor Military Education Liason, is beyond wonderful. She sat down with us to pinpoint exactly when Trinity needed extra protection and came up with non embarassing ways to help Trinity feel safe. As she said he is still very wary. and understandably so.

March 24 We went in to KMS and attended Parent Teacher conferences, visited with 4 of Trinity's teachers, picked up school work he has missed. Specifically visited with the 6th period teacher, she was shocked that she had not caught what was going on and discussed specific ways to adjust seating so Trinity could feel comfortable.

We also discovered that the PAL program that the district runs, (it's their little homeschool program) also runs a district orchestra. We are so looking into that!! Trinity has a violin and wants to play more. We also got him a bike. It's a half mile to the gas station via back roads, so today when I needed something little for cookies off Trinity went on his bike. I was so proud of him. He really seemed to enjoy it. My plan is to build him up and try to help him learn social skills as much as I can, no matter what he decides to do.

The Vice Principal called Wednesday Afternoon to let us know they were making progress. He made sure to call both my phone and Tom's as well. He appreciated the detail in Trinity's statement. There's no school now until April 4th. So we'll see what happens then.

I want to thank all of my friends for all of their support and patience with my one track brain the last 2 weeks plus. You guys are awesome!!




April 17...
The school has talked to the boys involved. I'm told 10 disciplinary hearings were held and appropriate consequences were enacted. Trinity went to school half days half of last week and has gone full day this week. He says it's going fine.