Still?

My son was stillborn. He died before he drew breath. It's been almost four years since I felt him kicking inside me. And today a photo of a sleeping baby boy with a teddy bear left me sobbing in grief.

Still.

 My sweet niece had a baby this week. A precious boy. But when I saw him with his teddy bear

All I could see was this

Sneaky bugger

Theron's fourth birthday is sneaking up on me. and I'm done pretending his birthday isn't when it was. His birthday is August 22. Just because he died August 20 doesn't change the day that I finally got to see his face or hold him in my arms. There's a difference between knowing he's in my belly kicking and wiggling and hopefully feeling my love and holding him.