So much has happened that has been so hard the last few years. If i stop to think about it all i start looking for my rock... And i have yet to build my plotted hidey hole in the attic...
Things are quiet right now. We are in a holding pattern, waiting for the submariner to recover. If his knee doesn't get better... Well I've quit thinking about that too because it is too scary. He does not want to talk about the future, and if i think about it, I'll want to talk about it with my confidant, and he's not available. So, we smile, and wait, and pretend everything is ok.
But, the not knowing, the not talking about things that are too scary, leaves me feeling like I'm living on borrowed time. Like every moment i spend in my home is a lie, because we might lose it.
Every minute i spend with my children is stolen, because i should be doing something else, dishes, laundry, picking up, mopping...
I treasure in my heart the moments the children are happy and laughing and try to permanently imprint them in my brain.
Things are quiet right now. We are in a holding pattern, waiting for the submariner to recover. If his knee doesn't get better... Well I've quit thinking about that too because it is too scary. He does not want to talk about the future, and if i think about it, I'll want to talk about it with my confidant, and he's not available. So, we smile, and wait, and pretend everything is ok.
But, the not knowing, the not talking about things that are too scary, leaves me feeling like I'm living on borrowed time. Like every moment i spend in my home is a lie, because we might lose it.
Every minute i spend with my children is stolen, because i should be doing something else, dishes, laundry, picking up, mopping...
I treasure in my heart the moments the children are happy and laughing and try to permanently imprint them in my brain.
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